If we had a magic wand, we would make all the things that we didn’t like simply to disappear. That would leave all the things that we liked most for us to enjoy. However, we would have no comparisons and like eating Strawberries and cream each day for every meal, it would soon begin to sour. We would very soon want a change of flavor. You might argue that this is all about having a free choice of what you want, so that when one meal palls you can simply choose another favorite. It is not until you become hungry that you can appreciate what good food is really all about. But surely hunger would have been one of those things on the discarded list that we made to disappear. Buddha was a young Prince with every advantage in life and his parents wanted the young future ruler to be happy and fulfilled. They kept him hidden from the transitory nature of life, but one day on a rare visit outside the castle he saw, a sick man, a dying man and a dead man. He realized that everyone he loved would die. He also came across a meditator, who taught him. He showed him that the happiness he had been seeking can come from within the mind.
God has given us freewill to choose our way in life. We need to understand that without the negative we would be unable to truly feel and understand how to be positive. There is only one positive that matters and that is unconditional love. The negative side holds all the unhappiness in this world. Hatred, greed lust inhumanity and everything that we would wish to be taken away and disappear. All goodness is formed out of love but is not fully understood unless one has experienced the pain of negativity. On this particular Friday morning, I had just registered the death of my beloved wife in Henley-on -Thames. As I was about to leave the car park, I mentally received a message in the right side of my head to drive up to the Sue Ryder Palliative Care Home near Nettlebed and thank all the nurses and doctors for the care and kindness that they had taken in treating my darling wife. They of course were too busy dealing with the living to be concerned about the husband mourning his wife, but they sent me with one of the nurses to the Chapel, so I could say my final words over her earthly body.
After saying my goodbyes to the dead body of my beloved wife, I left that chapel with tears pouring down my cheeks. I thanked the nurse for bringing me and I told her that I would walk round the lake to the car park before going home. I was standing alone on the steps of the path that went up to the trees above the lake of that home in South Oxfordshire. It was a still morning with no wind at all. Suddenly I was surrounded by the gentle warmth and loving breeze that appeared to come up from the lake below. It enveloped me and I heard myself saying, “That is wonderful.” I was strengthened as I stood there. All the pain was gone. I gave my thanks to God. I heard again in my mind but on the left-hand side of my head the answer to my earlier prayers when three days before I had asked God to take her. I loved her so very much, but I didn’t want her to stay any longer in pain and suffering. Then very clearly, the words came into my mind, “I heard you. She is at peace with me. She is at rest.”
I walked down to the lake and then I walked up the pathway on the other side. I stopped at the steps and went up them to look out over the lake. As I did so, I heard my wife’s words quite distinctly on the left side of my mind, as though she was using God’s energies. She said, “I am not there in the Chapel. I’m here. I’m at peace. Everything is alright. You don’t have to worry about anything.” I felt completely liberated from all the negativity of my surroundings, where my wife had been dying and I had asked God to take her. My words to her dead body in the Chapel and my tears of pain as I left her. Then out of all of this I had been healed by the unconditional love that came up from the lake. God came and personally answered my prayers and allowed my beloved wife the chance to speak with me. We spoke many times after that and always on the right side of my head. I recorded her death and our continued love afterwards in the book Living Proof by Michael Ayers to help all those who grieve and all those who pray to God and aren’t as fortune as I was. I know he hears all our words and, at our worst moments, gives us the generosity of His unconditional love.
Sunday, 23rd May 2021
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